A Brief Introduction To Japanese Culture (Part Four)

In this fourth posting about Japanese culture we will do a very brief overview of the amazing literature produced by Japanese writers over the years.

It is not going to be very comprehensive, as there are so many truly vital works that I could never get around to all of them (without starting a whole new series on Japanese literature alone). I am though going to pick a few prime examples, which are not meant to “summarize” Japanese literature in any way imaginable. I am just choosing works I think you may find interesting.

For example, as a creative artist and ethnomusicologist I am interested in improvisation and/or free-form creativity in China, South Korea, and Japan. So the Japanese literature I like comes from this particular interest. Though it is not improvisation per se, the literary works known as zuihitsu are fascinating to me. Literally “following the brush”, a zuihitsu is a kind of very artistic personal journal, filled with musings, essays, stories, and so on, publishable as a literary work. The first of these recognised in Japan was The Pillow Book, written by court lady Sei Shonagon between the 10th and 11th century. Pillow books were a diary form of zuihitsu made famous by Shonagon herself. Hers was also filled with a lot of creatively written court gossip, so it can be (and often is) classified as the world’s first novel. It is very useful as a subjective ethnography of court life in Japan’s Heian era, as well as highly entertaining, as Shonagon had a lively personality and enthusiastically participated in the goings-on of court life. 

The most famous zuihitsu is though without a doubt the Tsurezuregusa (“Essays in Idleness”) by the medieval Zen monk Kenko, written during the 13th and 14th centuries. Kenko too was a lively character, though his zuihitsu is more literary in nature. Essays in Idleness is the most studied zuihitsu in the world, thanks to Kenko’s style and general Zen exegesis. As Zen Buddhism itself contains thousands of scriptures and commentaries, Kenko’s informal style provides interesting and approachable exegetical perspectives to more formal sermons and commentaries. 

One such set of complex Buddhist sermon-essays is the Shobogenzo (“The Treasury of the True Eye of The Law”) by Soto Zen Buddhist founder Dogen. The writing can be both complex and brilliantly plain within the same sermon, and Dogen is as famous for his writing style as his theology. 

For example, in the sermon entitled “The Issue At Hand” (aka the Genjokoan) Dogen states that “weeds only grow when we dislike them”, referring to the fact that an enlightened Buddha has no connection to thoughts, a fairly enlightened Buddhist “has” one thought, and the struggling student has a second thought then a third, fourth, and so on because they don’t want any of these thoughts at all and struggles against them. Enlightenment is also like the moon reflected in water: it does not get wet. It is huge but it can fit onto a dewdrop. It does not even break the water’s surface but rests lightly upon it. Followers of Dogen could in a sense “hear” such things through his spoken sermons, while literate monks could “hear them through their eyes” in the more complex textual exegesis that followed. So as much as the Shobogenzo can become semi-impenetrable at times, Dogen’s style does allow opportunities to get to the core of his theology. 

Note: one can simply look into a meditation hall and instantly tell if they are witnessing a meditation session by Soto or Rinzai Zen Buddhists, as Soto meditators face “outwards” (Jap: “soto” – outside) towards the wall, and Rinzai meditators face inwards towards the center of the room. 

A few hundred years after Dogen, the renowned masterless samurai Musashi Miyamoto would write The Book of Five Spheres (of Study), aka The Book of Five Rings, arguably the most famous international read martial arts manual outside of the Chinese martial classic The Art of War. The classic manual on (double) sword fighting, The Book of Five Rings concerns itself with two basic principles when considering warfare: a). keeping inwardly calm during violent chaos, and b). being cognizant of the possibility of violent chaos when things are calm and ordered. Miyamoto’s techniques and concepts were built on this foundation, thus he became the warrior par excellence in his time: combining superior technique with stoic unflappability during duels… which were always to the death.  He lays down nine fundamental rules for study and training both before and after the student picks up his swords and during the actual training:

1). Think of what is right and true.

2). Practice and cultivate the science of sword technique; knowing one’s tools, their capabilities, proper moments of utilization, advantageous angles and heights for attack, and so on.

3). Become acquainted with the arts.

4). Know the crafts.

5). Understand the harm and benefit in everything.

6). Learn to see everything accurately.

7). Become aware of what is not obvious.

8). Be careful, especially in small matters.

9). Do not do anything useless.

These  lead the student to understand Miyamoto’s overall goal, to “see the immediate in a broad context.” To master these principles was to literally remain alive, so it was beyond important to consider them carefully. (Note: Miyamoto’s status as a legendary sword fighter is such that he is considered by some to be a kind of divine figure among swordsmen, a Kensai [“sword-saint”]). 

There is actually another martial manual lesser known outside of Japan, though it is a classic within the country: Yagyu Munenori’s The Book of Family Traditions on the Art of War. Munenori, a 17th-18th century samurai, became the martial arts instructor to the Tokugawa Shogunate, once killing seven men who ambushed one of the family members he was guarding. As word of Munenori’s skill spread, more and more members of the Tokugawa Family joined his “New Shadow” School of fighting, further cementing his reputation amongst the military elites. Even though he was eventually appointed head of the Secret Service, he came to realize (like Miyamoto) that he was only then starting to understand the deeper meaning of martial behaviour as he entered his 50s. Unlike Miyamoto though, Munenori’s work was admittedly Zen influenced, and his style was summarized by three principles: the use of violence to end violence (“Killing Sword”), foreseeing and forestalling problems (“Life-Giving Sword”), and making full use of the environment around you (“No Sword”). Munenori was interested in Zen theology but by his own admission not particularly educated in Zen or even a good Buddhist. Indeed, Buddhists had been trying to educate and expand the consciousness of samurai centuries before Munenori and Miyamoto, but had been kept busy trying to fix all the problems the samurai created, including taking care of the abandoned wives and children left behind by the endless fighting and ritual suicides.

Moving into the post-samurai, modern era we can find such aesthetic works as Junichiro Tanizaki’s In Praise of Shadows, a long 1933 essay discussing the Japanese sense of beauty that he felt was being lost with the advent of electric lighting. Lamps and candles (mixed with particular styles of architecture) helped create the lovely, “velvet” shadows that permeated past Japanese culture, creating the potent visual “silences” (ma) that made decidedly Japanese spaces beautiful. Electric light, to Tanizaki, was garish, and thus garish Western technology was practically invading Japan without resistance. For example, the elegant geishas of yore had to lean forward in an elegant way to pour tea, to actually see the tea cup, such was the low lighting. Their grace and beauty was literally part and parcel of the soft, shadowy room in which they entertained. To fill the room with electric light was to make the geisha graceless, to de-grace her with a simple flick of a switch. Tanizaki acknowledged that, overall, electric light was indeed progress, but mourned the loss of a society built on shadows. The delicate interplay of shadow and light must be the very essence of our daily lives, not a part of it, or else we might as well just give up on a beautiful life entirely.

Another famous book on the aesthetics of Japanese culture is Souestsu Yanagi’s The Unknown Craftsman: A Japanese Insight Into Beauty. In it Yanagi argues for the primacy and essential beauty of folk crafts as humble, Zen-influenced fine arts of their own… as worthy of praise as Japan’s great paintings, sculptures, and architectural works (temples, and so on). Yanagi argues that the unsigned, humble pots, weavings, and such of farmers and artisans manifest the same core truths found in Japanese philosophy, art, and religion, thus we must reassess our view of them as “lesser,” no matter what country and anonymous creators they come from. This movement was also influenced by the move by some in Japanese society to reclaim traditional arts and crafts from the seeming deleterious actions of modernization sweeping the country, as previously referred to by Tanizaki.  

Some 21st century scholars though question whether Yanagi’s views on the universality and humility of folk crafts was influenced by — or had an influence on — the Japanese colonialism of the era, as Japan moved in culturally genocidal ways in occupied Korea: only Japanese language and writing was allowed, Koreans had to change their names to Japanese names, and so on, acts of cultural erasure. Plus, it is a fact that “Japanese” Satsuma ware was created by captured Korean potters after the 16th century Imjin Wars, so the idea that a colonial Japanese is writing about the “beauty” of Korean anonymity raises possible geo-political or even moral questions. 

Up to now I have been writing about a variety of non-fiction works, so let’s take a look at Japan’s most controversial author, Yukio Mishima, and his novel The Temple of The Golden Pavilion (also known as Kinkakuji. Kinkakuji is about real-life events surrounding the gold-leaf covered Kinkaku Temple in Kyoto, which was burnt down by a schizophrenic monk in 1950. He thought it was so divinely beautiful no one in this world deserved to gaze upon it, so he destroyed it. The monk died of tuberculosis a few years later, leading Mishima to write a fictionalized novel about what the monk may have been thinking and doing while planning the attack. The novel became a worldwide best seller, though not without controversy within Japan itself. Mishima was a controversial figure in his time, as he admitted in one of his works to discovering that he was homosexual through a youthful masturbation session looking at the 16th century Giovanni Bazzi painting of the martyr St. Sebastian (semi-nude, being shot full of arrows). Bazzi himself was given the nickname Il Sodoma, “The Sodomite” after someone commented on his penchant for bearded youths. Bazzi found the name amusing and even wrote songs about it. 

Mishima wrote other (brilliant) works, but soon became more interested in politics and weightlifting than writing. He even started his own private army of devotees, and in 1970 he and a few of his most loyal followers stormed a military building in Tokyo. He then gave a political speech on a balcony to a large group of curious soldiers gathered below, even encouraging them to overturn the Japanese Constitution. Getting a rather unenthusiastic response he went back inside, and promptly committed suicide through hara-kiri — “stomach cutting” — self-disembowelment using a small sword. 

Note: the term hara-kiri is often mispronounced as “hairy-carry” in English. The proper Japanese and English pronunciation is: ha-rah-kee-ree, with no rising or falling accents. “R” in Japanese is pronounced like something between an R and an L, as Japanese has neither letter.

Anyways, this is a very basic look at a few of the classic literary works from Japan. It should give you a little taste of what is out there should you want to learn more about Japanese literature in all its glory. 

So, to summarize these last four blog posts: Japanese culture begins with the most basic cultural phenomenon, Japanese language; how the idea of Japan and its culture is shared between individuals and/or promulgated in society. To speak Japanese is to already be in culture and, in a sense, “coloured” by its inherent traits. Part of that culture-speak is the mythology of the nation’s origin(s) and relationship with the spirit world, including the imported religion of Zen Buddhism, out of which the Japanese have fashioned internationally renowned forms of music, theater, and art (based on notions of impermanence, silence, space, and austerity). But this does not mean we see little variety in how their culture manifests. From jaunty hair-snipping demons to The Pillow Book to the nohkan flute, Japanese people have been revealing many anthropological insights about our shared humanity through their own unique national phenomena. 

Japan is super fascinating and endlessly interesting. Hopefully this taste of mythology, language, music, art, martial arts, and literature has whetted your appetite a little for that grand feast that is Japanese culture.

A Brief Introduction To Japanese Culture (Part 3)

If we are going to discuss Japanese religion — as we did in Part Two) — we must also take a look at Zen Buddhism and its huge impact on Japanese culture. 

Buddhism, a religion beginning in India, began in a philosophical form, Theravadan Buddhism). It later branched into its Mahayana (religious) and Vajrayana (mystical) forms, with the Mahayana (the “Great Vehicle”) Buddhists pejoratively referring to the original Thervadan form as Hinayana,  the “Lesser Vehicle.”

A particular Mahayana form focusing on meditation (dhyana) arrived in China where it evolved into “Ch’an” Buddhism, and thus spread to the Korean Peninsula becoming known as “Son” Buddhism. It finally came to Japan and became known to the world as Zen, the Japanese method of pronouncing the name of this new religion. Other forms of Buddhist thought had arrived and developed in Japan previously in the Nara Era, starting in the 6th century C.E., but Zen as we know it in Japan today was a later (13th century) import. But it was highly intellectual, and mostly suited to the tastes of the ruling or upper classes. It focused on what was immaterial and fleeting, which set the stage for the great themes and subjects of traditional Japanese music, art and poetry.

As the nation of Japan is limited in space and resources and prone to disastrous earthquakes and tsunamis (Jap: “harbour waves”), there is no word that they understand better than impermanence: the great ephemerality of things. Thus Zen and its focus on the impermanence and/or the spiritual non-reality of materials naturally fit Japanese consciousness through the arts. This feeling took many forms as Japan modernized and moved into both the 20th and 21st centuries, but it still lays directly under the surface of modernity to such a degree that I would confidently argue Zen impermanence and its various descriptions remains relevant.

For example, a key phrase to understanding Japanese philosophy and creativity is mono-no aware, the “impermanent feeling of things”: aspects of nature and art that increases sensitivity to ephemerality in an individual. One way this manifests in material culture is the patina of age on an object. An old calligraphy brush is prized for its tattered bristles, as it will mark the page in such a way as to contain hihaku: blank, parallel gaps in its brushstrokes created by its asymmetries, which are thus mentally “filled in” by one’s psychological anticipation of closure. It is only natural for things to decay and fall apart, so this brush is displaying mono-no-aware by both looking and “acting” naturally decrepit. So when you see Japanese calligraphy, the irregularities and asymmetries in the strokes are highly prized if they are felt to contain the right kind of mono-no-aware.

A huge part of mono-no-aware is how filled with “ma” something is, a sense of “absolute timing (or space)”, a blank section felt to be “pregnant” with creative potential. If you see a Japanese abstract painting with a single black calligraphy stroke down the middle, the blank parts are said to be filled with ma if it is considered a great painting. The blank parts have no paint or ink, but they seem to have a feeling that they are about to “burst forth”; they brim with an invisible creative feeling like they are about to contain something other than space. Ma is essentially space or silence that makes the visible or audible more profound. I like to use the example of a milkshake. Without the air mixed in, milkshake mix is a syrupy sludge; an overly-sweet ooze. But when you froth it all up with a mixer you get a delicious milkshake, the air is what makes it great. Air is something (oxygen), but we can’t see it. Ma is something but we can’t see or hear it, but it seems to “oxygenate” what it infuses. There is nothing more impermanent than “a nothing” that doesn’t exist yet still has power over you for the brief moments you come into contact with it.

In the flute (nohkan) music used in traditional Noh theater (which I studied), little measured moments of ma are called ura-biyoushi: the silences in the music that are considered alluded to by the notes themselves! The spaces measure the notes: an eighth note’s worth of sound between two eighth notes worth of silence; not the other way around. Pretty much all cultures on the planet considered silence to be a part of marking rhythm, yet in nohkan study, notes mark how much ma is potentially occurring. Noh “music” is a sound-rich medium, made only by two drums and a flute, yet it has amazing power to move. There aren’t really even fixed notes either. Nohkan music is notated by finger positions, not notes on a staff, so each pitch can be varied if one’s fingers are shifted off the holes by a millimeter or two. The sheet music itself is a series of letters indicating fingers, rather than notes on music paper; in a sense you read the music like a recipe. Plus, the nohkan itself is actually a ryuteki flute from gagaku music, altered in such a way that the notes aren’t pitched evenly (C, D, E, etc.). It could go from a mostly flat C to D half sharp to a slightly sharp E, and so on. So with that already in place, plus the variations in possible finger position, the nohkan isn’t a flute in the traditional sense; more of a flute shaped, sound-making tube!

Note: at one particular jazz quartet gig fo example I played a nohkan through a harmonizer pedal, creating a kind of weird, electric banshee howling effect. Many audience members came up to me afterwards and said they got chills down their spine, like there was a ghost in the room. You can kind of do that without the pedal, but it is fun to watch people squirm in delight thanks to the power of digitally enhanced Zen aesthetics!

The timing of rhythm on the drums too is a matter of instinct rather than a metronomic measurement; the drummers move from sound to sound, and pattern to pattern, when the psychological needs of the play demand it (the music includes specific shouts as well as part of the drumming). Noh music is thus a fascinating kind of “strictly-yet-freely ‘composed’ improvisation”, to put it into rather insufficient terms. And the artists of greatest renown have a rare flowering of artistic instinct (“hana”), a profound naturalness that can’t be studied. It is interesting that silence is not only a profound part of Zen-inspired music, but a way of describing the aesthetics of a beautiful painting as well. If a work contains profound visual silence (ma) then it is oto-nashi — “without sound” (soundless) — containing the  aesthetic silence of Beauty itself.

Those who can exemplify genius levels of ma, feelings of mono-no-aware, and so on over the course of a career are given very rare and special recognition in Japan. They are awarded the title of Ningen Kokuhou – “Living National Treasure”. They come to embody an art form, and thus are in essence its living soul. The three categories of Ningen Kokuhou are Kakko Nintei: Individual Certification of High Mastery, Sougou Nintei: Collective Certification of two or more who attain mastery as a group, and Hoji Dantai Nintei: Preservation Certification for a large group or organization that have mastered a craft in which individuality is not primary. In theory it is possible for someone to gain this kind of recognition in modern art and so on, but it is usually awarded to someone keeping some kind of traditional art alive.

So to summarize the last three posts… Japanese culture begins with the most basic cultural phenomenon, Japanese language, how the idea of Japan and its culture is shared between individuals and/or promulgated in society. To speak Japanese is to already be in culture and coloured by its inherent traits. Part of that culture-speak is the mythology of the nation’s origin(s) and relationship with the spirit world, including the imported religion of Zen Buddhism, out of which the Japanese have fashioned internationally renowned forms of music, theater, and art based on the sense of impermanence, silence, space, and austere material decay. 

A Brief Introduction To Japanese Culture (Part 2)

If we are going to talk about Japan, then we must know a little of where the Japanese have historically believed Japan “came from”, its origin myth(s). But first, a quick note:

When a Japanese syllable-vowel is long, it is custom to mark it with a “u” in the Roman alphabet, thus yo (short) becomes “you” (a long yo sound): a word like youkai is spelled “youkai” and pronounced “yohhhkai”, not “you – kai”.

Japanese mythology is very interesting in the sense that it is sort of based on particle physics: the Universe began in its own primordial soup, a silent and shapeless mass of matter. Then particles within it began to move, which made sound. Light — as well as the lightest, fastest particles — rose within this chaotic primordial mass, with Light rising the “highest” (meaning it was the top “level” of the Universe) while underneath the particles formed clouds and Heaven (Takamagahara: The Heavenly Field/Plains). The heavier, slower particles formed Earth

With the formation of Takamagahara came the sudden appearance of the first five gods of Japanese mythology. When they all came into existence they “hid their bodies,” meaning they made themselves hidden and never appeared again. They also did not have gender and/or oppositely gendered dyads (male-female). Then some more gods came along in the same manner, eventually leading to Izanagi and his sister-wife Izanami, the gods who created the Japanese islands (by stirring up the water-y part of the primordial chaos with a jeweled spear), and birthed the Sun Goddess Amaterasu o-Mikami… to which I have a personal connection.

When I first arrived in Japan I sought opportunities to study traditional forms of music, as part of my quest to expand my cultural knowledge and abilities as a composer. A fellow teacher suggested I look into the Shinto/Imperial Court music (gagaku) orchestra at Ikuta Jinja (Jinja = “Shinto Shrine”) in Kobe, and she offered to vouch for me before an official meeting was arranged (as in Japan you don’t just meet people in situations like this; foreigners have to to be pre-introduced and vouched for). So after being vouched for and meeting the head priest, he eventually sent word back that he was not into the whole idea and denied my request.

A couple of weeks later I receive another word back saying that the priest had been consulting Amaterasu (Ikuta is considered to be her winter residence) about something and she herself told him through revelation that she was OK with me studying gagaku; that I would be a good ambassador for it, if not a decent performer of my chosen instrument (a small, nasal oboe-like instrument called a hichiriki). So the Sun Goddess herself gave me the green light, and I became a member of the Ikuta Jinja Gagaku Orchestra, one of only three official such orchestras in Japan, the other two being at the Imperial Court and Ise Jingu, Amaterasu’s main residence. By the way, it is often written that a divine child of Amaterasu (Wakahirume) is enshrined at Ikuta, while the locals believe it is Amaterasu herself under a different name.

In the Spring Japanese folks have a custom (mamemaki) of tossing beans at their front door or around the house while saying, “Oni wa soto, fuku wa uchi! “Demons out, Happiness in!”. Buddhist and/or Shinto priests often throw out packs of specially blessed beans (fukumame: “fortune beans”) to eager temple or shrine crowds at this time, so the people can super-charge their luck that year. Some older Osakans eat special uncut sushi rolls while facing in a lucky direction, but that is not the usual method. Note: though it is a Shinto custom, mamemaki has roots in ancient Chinese folk religion, and Japan began this custom as late as 700 A.D.

Speaking of beans and demons Japan has a colorful history of spirits and ghosts. Since the original religion of Japan (Shintoism) states that there are 8 million gods (spirits of varying importance) wandering around Japan, Japanese people consider themselves bound to encounter them in a variety of forms. These spirits are known as youkai. These spirits are described as coming in a very colorful variety of forms, revealing the highly creative nature of Japanese religious and folk narratives. If you were walking or asleep at dusk, then you might fall prey to a kamikiri-ma, a haircutting demon who snips your ponytail away. Another popular explanation was a “demon wind from a foreign land” has blown in and done such a deed. Ever been walking through a dark, lonely forest near a Shinto shrine? Then watch out for the “sand-sprinkling granny” (sunakake-baba), a grumpy old lady who throws sand at you if you’re not minding your business. Ever have an echo answer you when you yell out into a canyon? That is a mischievous “spirit of mountain reverberation” (yamabiko), a monkey-like demon who hangs around messing with hikers. Ever hear your cutlery running around at night? Then your house is infested with tsukumogami, antique household objects that come to life after 100 years (forks, spoons, musical instruments, etc.).

This is a very, very tiny intro to Japanese mythology, but it will give you a taste of the grand narrative of the story of Japan, from the archipelago’s ascent out of the primordial chaos to the latest bullet train racing across the main island Honshu.

So to summarize: Japanese culture begins with the most basic cultural phenomenon, Japanese language, and how the ideas of  culture are shared between individuals and/or promulgated in society. To speak Japanese is to already be in culture and coloured by its inherent traits. Part of that culture-speak is the mythology of the nation’s origin, and its relationship with the spirit world. 

A Brief Introduction To Japanese Culture (Part 1)

Hello. I am very excited to bring you all a new series of anthropological blog posts. I received my PhD in Ethnomusicology — with some focus on the traditional musics of  East Asia — so I thought that a little course on the general features of Japanese culture would give you a better idea of why I fell in love with it in the first place.  So in reality I am welcoming you to a welcome a series on Japanese culture, and its particular intellectual and material features.

So… what are we referring to when we speak of tangible and intangible Japanese cultural things?

The stereotypes are ninjas, sushi, samurai, certain types of animation, Mt. Fuji, hot sake (pronounced saw-kay, not “sack-y”) and so on, the “obvious” things that have entered into our own cultural consciousness: Japan “is” basically what we think of it as viewed from afar. So what I will try to do, as a researcher on Japanese creative culture, is let Japan itself speak to you. So if we are talking about Japan, then let’s talk about talking itself: Japanese language.

Japanese is indeed a fascinating language. Plurals don’t exist, so “pen” and pens” are implied by context. There are also no articles, so a, an, and the aren’t an issue. It is also possible to make a sentence or even have a conversation without ever mentioning a subject, using only verbs to get your point across. While English uses the subject-verb-object format (“Edna saw an elephant”), Japanese uses subject-object-verb, (“Edna, an elephant saw”). This incidentally is where director George Lucas got the idea for the Star Wars character Yoda’s speech patterns. Once again, if Edna is implied, you don’t even need her in the picture to tell people that she is seeing an elephant. It may also be the case that Edna saw several elephants (no specific singular or plural).  

It is also impolite to use declarative sentences in some situations, depending on the predicate. This is based on whether one ends the sentence with “yo” or “ne”: yo being a marker that indicates declarative information originating from the speaker, and ne being like the Canadian “eh?” implying a shared understanding of the information. If I say “Edna wa tsuteki desu yo” I am saying “Edna is wonderful”, yet by using yo I am not giving you the chance to be properly self-effacing, and thus the feeling is I am kind of “forcing” the compliment on you. But if I say “Edna wa tsuteki desu ne” I am saying “Edna is wonderful, wouldn’t you agree?” which allows the listener, Edna, to participate in the compliment; what you might call the “socio-spiritual” freedom to choose a response: e.g, ie… watashi wa futsuu desu, “No… I am just ordinary,” a polite response that allows for the opportunity to refrain from arrogance.

There are three writing systems used in Japanese: katakana for foreign loan words, Chinese letters (kanji) for the core of Japanese grammar (nouns, adjectives, verbs), and hiragana for grammatical endings, words without kanji, and situations where the reader may not know the kanji, e.g. children’s books. Oddly enough, the easiest to read, katakana, is often the hardest to interpret, as it is sometimes unclear which meaning is implied, e.g. prey, pray, or play, since Japanese has no “r” or “l”, rather something in-between the two. Japanese is a syllabic language, so there is no singular M or S, etc., thus Edna goes from two syllables to three: Eh-ju-na, Eh-zu-na, or some other possible form. Names can also sound like Japanese words, so I personally must mispronounce my last name so as not to be rude (the German name Schnee, when pronounced properly sounds like a Japanese command to die).

Though all Japanese speak a shared language of standard Japanese, the dialect diversity is such that people from different parts of the country speak a number of dialects with a surprising amount of difference between. Though only a two hour bullet train ride away, people in the eastern area of Japan (Kanto: where Tokyo sits) use a distinctly different set of verb endings than people in the West (Kansai: where Kyoto, Osaka, and Kobe sit). Even between Kyoto and Osaka (45 minutes apart by ordinary express train) you hear noticeable differences. A colloquial dialect is known by the suffix “-ben”, ergo Osaka dialect is “Osaka-ben.” It is all still Japanese, but the variety in suffixes can create some confusion, especially among foreign learners of Japanese. In Osaka, the standard Japanese word wakarimasen (“to not understand”) can be stated as wakara-hen, while a word such as omoshiroi (“interesting”) can be stated as omoroi.

So to summarize: Japanese culture begins with the most basic cultural phenomenon, Japanese language: how the idea of Japan and its culture is shared between individuals and/or promulgated in society. To speak Japanese is to already be in culture and coloured by (what I consider to be rather wonderful) inherent cultural traits.

Mr. Show Quiz (Part Two)…

As mentioned in the previous post I am a big fan of science fiction film and television trivia. This includes the Nineties cult classic sketch comedy show Mr. Show With Bob and David, which gave many now famous comedians and actors the chance to shine in front of a mass audience (the show was a late night feature on HBO). Few these days even remember the show ever existing, so a bit of knowledge about it can make you lethal to your competitors in a trivia contest.

The following then is the second part of my overview of each episode in the series.

Be Advised: the show was a late night comedy from the mid-Nineties. Thus the quiz contains themes and words that may be offensive to some readers.

S3E4:

1). In the Beatles-esque “Hard Day’s Night” style running scene who are Bob and David running from? A group of angry feminists. 

2). What was built in honor of Nostradamus? “Nostradamus And His Constant Chum High School.”

3). In the motivational teen band “Indomitable Spirit,” what disability does lead singer Fran (comedienne Sarah Silverman) suffer from? Being a woman. 

S3E5:

1). In the promotional ads for Mr. Show in Season Three, what is the name of Bob and David’s educational presentation? “Take A Bite Out of Herpes.”

2). On the religious TV show “Swear To God,” what question does Reverend Winton Durpree ask his congregation to ponder? “What is up Satan’s ass?”

3). Who were the Fad Three? A group of Beatles-esque teens who became famous for being photogenic.

4). What does political hunger striker Panjit Puujiran  pray for every day? A lot of food. 

5). Dr. X’s Doomsday Telethon Orchestra consists of how many members? A conductor plus a single trombonist.

S3E6:

1). According to country singer C.S. Lewis Jr., what should you never do? Mess with God’s America.

2). What “controversial” question does Galileo The Monkey ask via sign language? “Why are you blowing up the moon?”

3). In the Famous Mortimer sci-fi film “Streak Dome 97” who is being held hostage? Pope Stephanie The 12th. 

4). In accordance to the Protocols of The Elders of Elders, all TV must be what? “nice… for the nice people.”

S3E7:

1). What does Kedzie Matthews think the problem with bells is? They are weird. 

2). What is the Worthington Law? A person that makes more money than you is better than you, and therefore beyond criticism.

3). According to the mobster sketch, what number is arguably the highest? 24. 

4). Thanks to coercion from the mob, scientists believe what? There are at least 24 stars in the cosmos.

5). Why does Mr. Sallini win the marching band music competition? Because mediocrity doesn’t make people feel inferior.

S3E8:

1). How does Channel 6 get the breaking news on a forest fire? By starting it.

2). According to the music channel teens, which countries comprise Europe? “Europe,” Berlin, France, and England, all fit into a United States-shaped map.

3). According to the US propaganda film “Red All Over,” inside every fifth American boy lies what? A system of pulleys operated by a small Communist dwarf.

4). What other issue do the propaganda films address? Frigidity in women.

S3E9:

1). What is the theme of Bob and David’s country song about Native Americans? That white people forgive them for fighting for the land being stolen from them. 

2). What avant-hard balloon act performs for The Last Indian at his tribute show? Le Balloon Sportif. 

S3E10:

1). What is the name of the heavy metal band? Titannica. 

2). What is the problem with the Call In show

S4E1:

1). Why is David Cross prescribed medical marijuana? Due to stress from having to work with Bob Odenkirk.

2).What veteran actor plays professor Peens? Michael Mckean, who starred in what legendary comedic film? This Is Spinal Tap. 

3). What “reparations” are given to the victims and relatives of the Holocaust? Cloned Hitlers as manservants.

4). What does Tamara need to do and why? “She needs to respect her baby, because Life is precious… and God, and the Bible.”

5). What is Derlin Whittier’s final thought? “Before I die, I’m gonna f**k me a fish…”

S4E2:

1). What is the name of the Mr. Show version of the Playboy Bunnies? “The Mr. Show Objects.”

2). What do the Mr. Show Boys Clubs of America do? Include girls in the club, but don’t allow them to actually participate in any of the activities.

3). What party activity do the heavy metal band Wyckyd Sceptre engage in, though they are homophobes? Homosexuality.

4). What is the name of the episode (8) of the sci-fi series “Racist In The Year 3000”? “The Argos Checkmate.”

S4E3:

1). What is the song that David sings in the blooper reel that includes the lyric “emotion lotion”? Super Star Machine.

2). What is the major blooper David shows? Bob engaging in prostitution.

3). What does a young Bob call an abortion? A Gagortion.

4). What contests do Rhonda and Del Crow enter their unborn daughter into? Pre-Natal Beauty Pageants. 

5). What side job does Del Crow have to take in order to make ends meet? Kiss the elephants’ asses at the circus.

6). What special feature does the fancy restaurant The Burgundy Loaf offer? You can defecate into a box at the table while dining. 

S4E4/5:

1). What is the name of the Goodfellas movie parody? Pallies.

2).What are the Fairsley Foods 3 Golden Promises? Our stores are not constantly on fire, employees are free of active sores or lesions, and homeless people do not defecate in the aisles. 

3). What keeps happening during The Story of The Story of Everest? Thomas keeps on knocking his mother’s thimble collection off the wall.

4). How does David describe an eclipse to the blind woman? Like beautiful angels taking a beautiful nap.

5). How does the Dalai Lama beat the kids from the fat camp at the Summer “Olympican”? By rapping. 

S4E6:

1). What do Bob and David get the audience to do in memory of a deceased crew member? Hold their breath. 

2). Why does the cast have an intervention for David? To expose how badly Bob runs his interventions.

3). What investigative unit targets minor crime? The Car Wash Change Thief Action Squad.

4). What does the sign on the legendary Mother of Pearl diamond say? “Don’t steal.”

5). What body part does erotic magazine publisher Garry Flank focus on? The perineum (aka “taint”). 

S4E7:

1). What are the Mr. Show Smarty-Pants? A giant vat of custard used as punishment for being educated on current events. 

2). What does God come down to Earth to do? Narrate an audiobook.

3). What is the name of the unexplained mysteries show? Probings. 

4). What actor from this episode would go on to be a main cast member in the hit TV show “30 Rock”? Scott Adsit.

S4E8:

1). What do the African-American residents of Mississippi receive as reparations for slavery? A greeting card and a one-way bus ticket out of the State. 

2). What crime show is featured in this episode? America’s Dumbest Juries.

3). What do Edmund Premington’s adventure stories inevitably focus upon? The various effects his emotions have on his multiple scrotums.

4). What promotional gift do Bob and David give away during their fundraising drive? Fake poop.

S4E9:

1). Who is the alien child “He Who Watches All Television” based on? Clint Howard’s character Balok in the original Star Trek episode “The Corbomite Maneuver.”

S4E10:

1). What is the name of the entertainment news program investigating Josh Fenderman? Genuine Hollywood Factual Report. 

2). What motivational action did John Fenderman’s parents take? Building a glass mansion on a hill overlooking an economically disadvantaged area, so the impoverished could see the family’s lifestyle and be inspired. 

3). Who is goth rock character Marilyn Monster based upon? The real life rockstar Marilyn Manson. 

4). What is the name of goth rock rock pizza parlor chain Marilyn Monster owns? Marilyn Mozzarella’s Pizzarella Pie Parlour.

Mr. Show Quiz (Part One)

As many of you know, I am a big fan of science fiction film and television trivia. This includes the Nineties cult classic sketch comedy show Mr. Show With Bob and David, which gave many now famous comedians and actors the chance to shine in front of a mass audience (the show was a late night feature on HBO). Few these days even remember the show ever existing, so a bit of knowledge about it can make you lethal to your competitors in a trivia contest.

The following then is a (relatively) comprehensive overview of each episode in the series.

Be Advised: the show was a late night comedy from the mid-Nineties. Thus the quiz contains themes and words that may be offensive to some readers.

Season One: Episode One (S1E1)

1). What hit show is series co-star Bob Odenkirk most known for appearing on? Breaking Bad (or its spin-off Better Call Saul). 

2). What hit show is series co-star David Cross most known for appearing on? Arrested Development.

3). What hit crime show did series regular Mary Lynn Rajskub become known for? 24. 

4). What super-famous cartoon character is series main cast member Tom Kenny known for voicing? Spongebob Squarepants. 

5). What is the name of the one man show David presents music from? Hitler Sings. 

6). According to Bob, what are all the US states? Illinois, Indiana, Winketin, Tazini, and Chim-Cham.

S1E2:

1). What metaphor does Senator Tankerbell use to describe excessive arts funding (which is eventually turned into a musical)? An erotic story about a milking machine.

2). What problem does former homosexual and Christian conversion therapist Burton Quim have? He continuously and intentionally “relapses” into being gay.

3). What did the 13th Apostle of Christ (Marshall) do? Give presentations and sell motivational material to become rich and successful in life.

4). What is Globo-Chem’s corporate motto? “We own everything, so you don’t have to…”.

5). Which famous comedian makes his first appearance on Mr. Show in the episodes musical? Jack Black.

S1E3:

1). What does “The Unauthorized Biography of Mr. Show” consist of? Bob writing increasingly angry letters to David, who himself is wearing a dress, and writing to Globo-Chem for free products.

2). Which famous comedienne makes her first appearance on the show as David in a dress? Sarah Silverman. 

3). What is the name of the instructional (gay) pornographic film? Ramming Speed. 

4). What does Third Wheel Jerry think the definition of “honeymoon” is? To charter a boat and send it out into the ocean unmanned. 

5). What (then) relatively unknown ground-breaking comedienne is visible in the background during an audience portion of the Third Wheel Jerry sketch? Margaret Cho.

6). What did method actor Borden Grote do to prepare for a role in a movie about abuse in a psychiatric institute? Have the front part of his brain replaced with bubble wrap. 

S1E4:

1). Where is the Pope Hall of Fame located? Within a wing of the Football Hall of Fame. 

2). What problem does political performance artist Spank have? He is unable to defecate on the American flag.

3). What is Benjamin Franklin’s solution to people potentially defecating on the American flag? Make the flag itself out of fecal matter. 

4). What fascinating TV show do Bob and David watch on TV? Live footage of themselves being murdered, though the Bob and David themselves watching are not murdered.watching 

S2E1&2:

1). What do Bob and David declare Mr. Show? A Sovereign micro-nation.

2). What do the cast of Mr. Show, apart from David, think doesn’t exist? A talking junkie.

3). What do Mr. and Mrs Applesway think is the problem with their son Jimmy? He is not enthusiastic enough about the merchandise in their family run adult video store. 

4). What monosyllabic song does the soul duo 3X1 – 1 sing to the woman feeling suicidal? Ewww, Girl, Ewww…

5). What does the music channel WPCBCN’s name stand for? The White People Co-opting Black Culture Network.

6). What past criminal act do 3X1-1 thinks gives them street cred? Loitering.

7). What are the Homage Awards? Music awards given to white artists who co-opted black culture.

S2E3:

1). What teen show features three adults pretending to be teens, who complain about the issues they have with teenagers? No Adults Allowed.

2). Who does (adult) Kenny The Teenager think sang The Beatles hit, “Eight Days A Week”? The Nazis.

3). How are Craig and his fellow teens trying to contribute to society? Through crocheting, and making homemade fudge for the blind.

4). Though comedian Dave Chapelle is famous for portraying a black White Supremist on his eponymous show, what slacker-hating black Klu Klux Klan Grand Wizard character shows up on Episode 3 of Season 2 of Mr. Show? Marjoe Crawley.

5). What is the name of Jesus Chest Superstar parody? Jeepers Creepers Semi-Star.

6). What actress made famous by the movie Basic Instinct throws the first stone at Jeepers Creepers? Jeanne Tripplehorn.

S2E4:

1). What is the motto of the GV Corporation? “Where ideas can hang out, and do whatever…”. 

2). What does Van Hammersley do? Teach history, economics, science, and mathematics through billiards.

3). According to Senator Tankerbell, what problem do the Great Lakes have? They’re cluttered with water.

S2E5:

1). What did Bob Odenkirk’s parents force him to do? Make bets with them. 

2). What shocking revelation did Hitler make in 1938? That no one had ever touched his anus. 

3). What is the terrorist plot “Operation: Hell On Earth”? The song Carribbean Queen by Billy Ocean will be played on a loudspeaker from a rented van at 8:15 pm. 

4). Who is Famous Mortimer in the news sketch? Future King of Queens and Ratatouille star Patton Oswalt. 

5). What does Will Hawkins blame his father for? Making him a success in the little chocolate basketball business. 

6). How is Fartin’ Gary (Cross) heckled? By funnier farts from his rival Fartin’ Rudy (Odenkirk). 

7). What Kids In The Hall actor makes an appearance in this episode? Dave Foley.

S2E6:

1). What was Dickie Crickets a star of (in 1922)? Megaphone crooning. 

2). What was Kid Jersey’s megaphone crooning hit in 1925? Penicillin.

3). A fictitious couple meets at the end credits of the show and then gets married. What real life married couple plays the fictitious couple? Mr. Show main cast members Tom Kenney and Jill Talley.

S3E1:

1). What “Heaven’s Chimney” cult leader opens the show? “The Bob” (Bob Odenkirk). 

2). What does (comedienne Karen Kilgarif) pray for? That her houseguests won’t suspect she is serving a coffee substitute.

3). What is one of the special features of the new Devastator roller coaster? It spends 2 entire minutes underwater…

4). According to the film “The Limits of Science” how do we know what is true? Facts begin as dreams dreamt by a wizard.

5). According to the doctors, why is “Kevin” in a wheelchair? Because he is a lazy Satanist who loves pornography. 

S3E2:

1). What Canadian province is written on a map as “Sasquatch”? Alberta.

2). According to that same map what is the province of Saskatchewan famous for? The world’s largest indoor ladder.

3). What is the province of Manitoba renamed? Saskatchewan 2.

4). What is the province of Ontario renamed? Saskatchetario. 

5). Who is Tatiana? the “Weather Hermaphrodite.”

6). According to advertising, what is located south of Santa’s Village? The Cock Ring warehouse. 

7). What are the Cyrus Dewey Awards? An award the silent film actor Cyrus Dewey would give himself for making “such a brave choice” in portraying a mentally challenged character. 

8). What is Bob Lamonta’s sandwich consist of? Peanut butter, eggs, and dice. 

S3E3:

1). One of the twin girls introducing the show is Stacie Chan, who would go on to be nominated for an Emmy award for her work as ‘Jade Chan’ on what animated show? Jackie Chan Adventures. 

2). What social group is consumed by a deadly East versus West Coast feud? The world of ventriloquists. 

3). What does the newscaster mistakenly call the East Coast rapper? Professor Pickles. 

4). In the shoe store sketch, what did the job interviewee steal from NASA? Space plans. 

5). “(The Altered State of) Druggachusettes” is a parody of what (real life) semi-psychedelic children’s television series? H.R. Pufnstuf.

6). What pink, multi-eyed Druggachusettes character can taste colors? “Hallucino-Jenny.”

6/6 Film Festival: Part Two

As previously mentioned this weekend I am having a little private film “festival” and re-watching six movies related to a chosen theme. And since you may not have heard of these films or have access to them, I thought I would provide a little rundown of the proceedings in two parts. Today’s remaining three films (plus a last minute bonus addition!) continue our focus on “Women With Unique Problems,” in this case: a Japanese assassin, an Antarctic paleontologist, a tourist in Mexico battling flesh eating plants, and a giant moth.

Each individual faces problems forced upon them, and attempt to solve them with whatever limited resources they have at hand. Also, a reoccuring theme across such films as a genre is how the women have correctly sussed the situations they are in, and are usually ignored to the peril of those who refuse to listen to their advice or warning. 

4). The Thing (2011 version): 

This film is actually the third in a series, starting with The Thing From Another World (1951), followed by its remake The Thing (1982), which itself went on to become a classic from a golden age of sci-fi (1977 – 1985), which saw the release of such movies as Star Wars, DUNE, Bladerunner, The Thing, ALIEN, and many others.

In this film Kate Lloyd, a vertebrate paleontologist (and protagonist of the film), is summoned to the Antarctic by a Norwegian research team in order to examine the remains of a frozen alien. This bug-like creature turns out to not only be alive, but also extremely violent, and reproduces by invading host cells and copying them (essentially “shape-shifting” into the form of the very host they infect [a rather gory and disturbing process]). By the end of the film it is revealed that this version of The Thing is a prequel, one which sets up the first scene of the 1982 remake (the fleeing husky being chased by helicopter). It is interesting to note that, in order to not emulate the protagonist from the 1982 version (Kurt Russell), Kate is modelled after Ellen Ripley from the ALIEN franchise, a subordinate who is ignored to the peril of the rest of her crew.

5). Lady Snowblood: this classic Japanese vengeance movie concerns Sayo, a rape victim who was jailed for murdering one of her attackers, becomes pregnant with a daughter (Yuki), who is raised as an assassin in order to seek revenge on her mother’s behalf (after Sayo dies in childbirth). It was also the core inspiration for Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill movies, and is also a classic jidaigeki film, an “era-drama,” meaning a dramatic story involving samurai, loyalty, feudal intrigue, and such. In this case, Lady Snowblood is a genre of jidaigeki known as chanbara (sword-fighting film). A key feature of Yuki’s quest is how she is, in a manner of speaking, the final gasp of a feudal society moving in the modern era (from the 19th to 20th century), as the film is set in the early part of Japan’s Meiji Era. Her samurai-like skills, and fatalist dedication – combined with the choreographic beauty of her work and the film’s cinematography – create a visually gorgeous depiction of one woman seeking justice in a changing, yet yet continually unjust world. She is clearing out the filthy remnant to make way for what is next (which ends up being a modern nation with Imperialist intentions for the rest of Asia).

6). MOTHRA: 

Our sixth lady in the series is not human, but rather a giant Japanese moth. 

After nuclear tests are errantly done on an inhabited island a team of investigators are sent, and discover a tiny pair of twin fairies (sho-bijin: “small beauties”) tasked with guarding a giant egg (the god of the island). The sho-bijin are kidnapped by the expedition leader, and thus the sho-bijin summon the god (a giant caterpillar) within the egg. This caterpillar eventually reaches Japan and transforms into the dai-kaiju (giant monster) Mothra, who then lays waste to all before her until some benevolent humans themselves rescue the sho-bijin, draw Mothra to a local airport, and she safely flies away with her tiny friends. 

I have been a huge fan of Japanese dai-kaiju films for a long time now, and got to fulfill a bucket list item by seeing a Godzilla film in Japanese while actually living in Japan (I understood at least 50% of the dialogue, so that was also pretty damn encouraging for my language studies). The world may value cars and mansions and such, but for me there is no greater wealth than living in a place like Japan and enjoying the vast cultural treasures that are their fine art and popular cinematic traditions, music, literature, etc. So much amazing stuff…

7). The Ruins: 

A tourist named Amy and her friends are exploring the jungle when they come upon a small ancient Mayan temple. As they approach it some local villagers shout wildly at them in a language they do not recognize, and soon one of the group is murdered as he approaches the villagers to try and communicate with them. Amy and the rest are now stranded on the temple, as the villagers refuse to let them leave the clearing in which the temple sits. It soon becomes clear why they are so animated: the temple is covered in flesh eating vines. It now becomes a race against time and nature as the group battle the encroaching vines, and dehydration, and try to figure out a plan of escape without being killed by the villagers.

In this case it is Amy herself who jeopardizes the group, as she inadvertently comes in contact with the vines before knowing what they are, and triggers the villagers into violent action, including euthanizing one of their own children after coming into contact with vines Amy throws at them in anger.

Amy is played by actress Jena Malone, most famous for her role as Johanna Mason in the Hunger Games film franchise. Malone does a great job of playing up how out of her element Amy is, and how she deals with the fact that they are all essentially doomed because of her actions. 

In a few weeks time I will be having another little recreational mini-film festival of early 20th century comic shorts, so I hope you will enjoy following along on the blog…

6/6 Film Festival: Part One

Hello, and welcome to my “6/6” Film Festival.

This weekend of Jan. 6 I have decided to have my own little private film “festival” and re-watch six movies related to a chosen theme. And since you may not have heard of these films or have access to them, I thought I would provide a little rundown of the weekend in two parts. Today’s three films – and indeed all of them – are going to focus on “Women With Unique Problems,” in this case: a 17th century Puritan teenager, a warrant officer battling super-violent aliens in space, and a Japanese zombie trying to survive a world full of cruel humans.

Each woman faces problems forced upon them, and attempt to solve them with whatever limited resources they have at hand. In each case they are ignored when they offer what may be the most beneficially impactful information or action at hand, and the results are as tragic as heroic.

1). The Witch:

This film asks a simple question. What if you were a 17th century teenage Puritan girl, and suddenly you were suspected of being a witch by your own family (after the strange disappearance of your infant brother)? Then-newcomer Anya Taylor-Joy gives a great performance as the girl (Thomasin), who must deal with puberty, the excessive religiosity of her parents, and the slow break down of the family as their crops fail, the younger children become more fractious, and as it turns out, the family’s 210-pound billy goat Black Phillip possibly being the Devil himself. Thomasin’s battle against the chaos within her family, and the dark forces seemingly gathering around outside, makes her decisions pretty much inevitable, if not unavoidable. 

2). ALIEN 3:

This third installment in the ALIEN film franchise is certainly not the greatest, but in my opinion decent if viewed as a kind of interesting “set-up” to the events of the fourth film, “ALIEN: Resurrection.”  

The franchise features actress Sigourney Weaver as Lt. Ellen Ripley, a warrant officer and sole survivor of an encounter with a violent alien life form (ALIEN). After being rescued by deep-space salvagers while in a decades long cryo-sleep, she is legally forced to accompany a team of soldiers to a terraforming colony that has gone radio-silent, a colony that just so happens to be on the same planet Ripley encountered the alien. After most of the team is wiped out, Ripley destroys the colony and escapes to the mothership, where she must battle a giant mother (Queen) Alien in order to save a small girl, an android, and an injured soldier from certain death (ALIENS). After doing so Ripley and one of the aliens end up being the lone survivors following the ship’s escape pod crash on a harsh planet containing a penal colony filled with inmates genetically predisposed to psychopathy (ALIEN 3).

As the alien starts killing the inmates Ripley also discovers that there is also a Queen implanted within her, and must figure out how to kill both, since the penal colony is a decommissioned foundry and there are no weapons beyond simple tools. Time is running out, and Ripley must also contend with the fact that the corporation for which she worked has sent a “rescue” team in order to capture the alien for bioweapons research, or do such research on Ripley herself. 

The ALIEN franchise are not the first sci-fi horror films, but certainly the most famous, due to the ferocity of the aliens themselves, and how they are implanted by a face-hugging parasite then burst out through their victim’s chest. Ripley had previously spent so long in cryo-sleep that her daughter had grown old and died in the interim, so this new “pregnancy” of Ripley’s (and the fact that the alien on the loose won’t harm her in order to facilitate the birth of a new Queen) provides her with the opportunity to rid the Universe of the aliens once and for all, as far as she can tell. The alien is eventually killed, while Ripley herself kills the Queen within by diving into a pool of boiling lead. 200 years later genetic material found on site is used to clone Ripley, and the Queen within her (ALIEN: Resurrection), and once again mayhem ensues. 

3). Miss Zombie: this 2013 Japanese horror film is my favorite zombie film of all time. Though such films are usually either straight horror or comedy, this one is more social critique, as it turns the genre in on itself. For example, the standard zombie film features a small group of humans struggling to survive a mass outbreak of some virus that turns humans into zombies. In this case a doctor and his family own a zombie (Sara) with a low viral count, which are captured, domesticated, and then used as domestic servants or “pets.” As the zombie herself goes through abuse and even rape, it is she who must figure a way to survive in a world full of monsters, i.e. the humans that mistreat her. But one day the family’s young son drowns, and the only way to revive him is to be zombified, which eventually leads to his estrangement from his own mother, and a growing bond with Sara. Though this movie is a dark comedy, it is more dark than comic, but a fascinating take on what it means to be human, as demonstrated by a former human herself. 

The Two Minute Rule

Hello everyone! I hope your 2024 is off to a great start, and you have some big plans ahead. But unfortunately many give up on their big plans mere days into a new year. Why is that? The resolutions and goals you set may be healthy and noble, but they just always seem to fizzle out almost immediately. In my opinion that is because such resolutions and goals have not been developed into habits first.

In the book “Atomic Habits” by James Clear, the author points out that while goals are results, habits are the systems that produce results. Thus, if you have a great system in place, your original goals (and even greater, unimagined ones) will automatically result. This is a pretty big claim, so how can we know this to be true? 

Because a strong habit produces immediate and clear results, whether they be good or bad. A strong habit has four elements, what Clear describes as its four “laws”: they are simple to understand, irresistible (you want to do it), easy to do, and feel good doing. So the author spends the rest of the book explaining how to conceptualize and develop the habits that will lead to your best living: how to be constantly improving rather than struggling.

One handy tip is the “Two Minute Rule.” When you start a new habit it should take less than 2 minutes to do. This ritualizes the process so you can easily expand it to 5 minutes, then 10, then on to 30, and so on. Thus you need to standardize the habit before optimizing it. It is kind of like Exposure Therapy. If you are overly afraid of spiders, then a psychologist will help you find ways to slowly “negotiate” that fear within yourself: look at pictures of happy cartoon spiders, then look at regular pictures of non-venomous spiders, then take a trip to the pet store to look at tarantulas in their cages, and so on. 

The Two Minute Rule can be seen as a similar kind of negotiation, and it totally works. If you seek to limit something you want to do, you end up wanting to do it longer as well, because it satisfies at least two elements of a strong habit (easy and desirable). These negotiations become a fun game in themselves and can be used for anything. If I am too tired to tidy my office I can always “compromise” by merely putting one book back on the shelves. At that point I usually say to myself, “well since I am doing one book I can always just grab the other ones on the desk and put them away too…” which almost always leads me to tidying the whole office anyways. You can literally get most anything done if you start doing the easiest, funnest version of it for a minute or two

So if you are serious about making 2024 a significantly better year than 2023 I highly recommend reading “Atomic Habits,” or start using the Two Minute Rule right away. In fact, here is my January Challenge to you:

Try doing some household task for only 30 seconds, in an easy and fun way. If you do it a few times a day, just for fun, the results will be clear…

2023 FIFA WWC: FINAL!

So after a couple of weeks of exciting football we were down to the last couple of Quarter Finals and the Semi-Finals:

1). Semi-Final #1 (Spain vs. Sweden): In a thrilling final minute in normal time Spain’s Olga Cormona scored a gorgeous arc-ing goal, beating Sweden 2 – 1 and heading to their first Final.

2). Quarter Final #3: Australia vs. France… no score at the Half, after both some great Australian attacks and great goal line defense by the French. They eventually go to a thrilling Penalty Shootout, 10 rounds (20 kicks, the longest P-S in women or men’s World Cup history), and Australia wins it in front of a wild hometown crowd. This means they will face England or Colombia in the Semi-Final…

3). Quarter Final #4: England defeats Colombia, setting up what could be an epic Semi-Final with Australia (set for tomorrow morning). Absolutely fantastic series of games from the Round of Sixteen up to now, so who knows what will happen. If Australia goes to the Final and WINS it in front of their home crowd they will be permanent legends in their nation’s sports history. Go Matildas!!

4). Semi-Final #2 (Australia vs. England): After (European champions) England go up 1 – 0 in the first half Australian mega-star Sam Kerr equalises with a gorgeous goal from a lonnnng way out, and the Aussie fans are getting an absolutely fantastic game for their money. England gets yellow-carded for time wasting (including bringing a second ball onto the pitch knowing full well the Aussie goalkeeper has one in her hand), but in the end it’s England going into their first Final ever with a 3 – 1 win.

Sweden played Australia in the match for 3rd place (beating the hosts 2 – 0), leaving only the Final left tomorrow morning: Spain vs. England for the whole tournament. It is hard to say who will be victorious. Spain have won once, drawn once, and lost three times in their last five meetings with England. Spain has also won four times and lost once in their last five matches, while England have won all five. But Spain know how to build plays up from practically nothing and have been the most successful in the tournament at keeping possession of the ball, so I am predicting a Spanish victory. The odds are against them, but I have a feeling Spain will find a way. ¡¡Victoria para España!!

RESULT: … 30 minutes in Olga Carmona puts it into England’s goal, and it’s Spain 1 – 0 at the Half. They hang on and win the game.

¡Enhorabuena, España!